A Little of This, A Little of That

I have really not been in the mood to blog lately. For two major reasons. Reason #1: my camera really, really stinks. The duct tape really isn't holding it together anymore, and most of my pictures don't even appear. When they do appear, they are usually unfocused. And frankly, my blog is overly dependent on pictures. Reason #2: my brain has been so full of thoughts and ideas about the things we're experiencing these days. I didn't know where to start or how to say what's on my mind. And I quickly became overwhelmed.

Tonight I cheated and opened a box from my parents that was meant to be for my birthday tomorrow. My excuse was that we needed to know what it was so that Gerald didn't accidently buy me the same thing. :) When I saw what was inside, my mouth literally dropped open and tears came to my eyes. A camera! My incredibly over-generous parents sent me a new camera! I can't wait to try it out! And since, Reason #1 is no longer an issue (Oh! Happy Day!) I guess I shouldn't let Reason #2 stop me, either.

So, though I have volumes of words in my mind and heart, I've got to start somewhere. So here are some of the things I've been meaning to write about lately, in a teensy, tiny nutshell.

• Adoption. Every spare second lately has been devoted to our adoption process. It's been intense, thrilling, exciting, emotion, inspirational, exhausting and really just very cool. I have so much I should write about this! We are scheduled to 'go live' on May 21st! Which means we'll be online so that a birthmother could read our profile that afternoon. We'll definitely make sure to keep you updated on that.

Katelee following a FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) family carnival we attended.

• Motherhood. I had a very nice Mother's Day. Katelee was old enough to sing in sacrament meeting for the first time ever. She was cute and reverent, though she didn't exactly sing. :) She colored my Mother's Day card. We played games together. She called it "Katelee Celebration Day," which made me laugh so hard. She truly brings me such joy. I'm grateful to be a mom.
• Unstructured Play. This is a topic that has been a lot on my mind lately, since we attended an adoption training where they taught about the importance of unstructured playtime with your children. I feel guilty about the small amount of time I spend giving Katelee my undivided attention, but even when I do give her my attention, it's usually completely on my terms and conditions and very much structured by me. I learned how important it is for the child to choose the together activity, and how important it is for me to follow her example. This does not come easily for me, but its a concept that rings true to me. Since I've started working on this idea, I've played on the playground equipment at the park, enjoyed many silly made-up games, built a fort, and played hide and seek. Here's a picture of Katelee's toes sticking out of one of her favorite hiding places. Hee hee!

• Changes in my blogging: I have to make some decisions soon about how I'm going to handle blogging while trying to adopt. I feel strongly about keeping this blog private, as I am so open on here. However, it is strongly encouraged that while hoping to adopt we are very active in searching for our child. As part of that, we are encouraged to keep a very regular family/adoption blog. I need to decide how I am going to do that, exactly, and what that might mean for this blog in the meantime... I would love any ideas or suggestions you might have!