Reclaiming Normal

Help! I feel like I've lost normal.  

Have you ever felt that way?

It wasn't too long ago that life felt normal.  I exercised (almost) every morning, we sat down for dinner every evening as a family, I went to the library regularly, I spent more time thinking about others, I did creative projects for fun, Katelee and I played more together, we went to bed at a decent hour . . . 

With all the hustle and bustle of moving, traveling, selling a house, the funeral, visitors, packing, and more, I feel like normal has slipped between my fingers.  Most of the above 'normal' activities have flown out the window and I feel like I somehow need to reclaim them.

It makes me feel sad.  But this isn't the first time I have felt this way; there are always transitions in life when you have to recreate normal.

Every year when school got out and summer began.

When I first went away to college.

When I got married.  

When I graduated from college and began my first job as a teacher.

When Katelee was born.

Meanwhile, however, I am trying to reclaim some semblance of normalcy.  Yesterday I took Katelee to the library for the first time in a couple of months (Oh, library, how we missed you!), and I played more with Katelee during the day.  But the vague feeling of incoming change still hovers in the air.  I know we all feel it and we all know that life isn't quite the same as it used to be.  And probably never will be exactly again.

I guess what it comes down to is I don't do that well with change, and transitions like this really throw me off balance.  The biggest problem is that it feels like it is going to be a long time until I get normal back, and then it will be a whole different normal.  Because I'll be living in a new state.  But, just like before, I'll create a new normal that we will grow to love.

Until then, I'm just left with a vague feeling of uneasiness and the question:  Normal, where are you?